We celebrated Mom's 95th birthday on Sept 29, 2022 and it was a wonderful celebration of life, family, love, togetherness! For those of you who know my mom personally, you know that she's not the bubbly sort, more of the quiet, gentle kind, but she has been bubbling the year through on completing 95! Of course, she is the eldest in the extended family, eldest of her siblings (those still around and those we hold fast in our memories).
Until Parkinson's and its attendant issues made life difficult, what with an unbalanced gait, tripping, freezing limbs and all, Ma only wore sarees. For her it was quite an adjustment to switch to salwar/kameezes-kurtas (though that's what she had grown up with, in Lahore and later on in Shimla, Delhi & Allahabad). Sometime late last year or early this year, she expressed a desire to wear a saree for her 95th birthday, remembering rather nostalgically that her husband (my dad) would always buy her a new saree for her birthday! Dad passed away ~26 years ago, so I decided to step in and get her a saree!
Given that I was familiar with DerajLifestyle due to their varied posts, I approached Priyashmita for a bespoke creation! The initial thought was to recreate something from her childhood that was spent in Lahore (pre-partition India). Mom frequently referred to the Shah Alami (or Shalmi as it was colloquially known) gate as a landmark, so Priyashmita went on a hunt for images of the same. Unfortunately, Shalmi gate was a victim of the partition riots and no more and pix/representation of the same were too generic and faint to evoke a connection. Looking into more memories, I recalled her fondness for the Bougainvillea that draped its luxurious bloom-laden self over her Allahabad house gate
Every year the maali would trim it before the rains and post that it would shoot up again to mom's delight. A full bloom-laden (as above) was a sight to behold. She once said to me: As I come round the corner and see the white flowers, my heart smiles! Don't think there could have been a more fitting replacement for the gate than this. I shared the pix with Priyashmita and she told me she would get it done and periodically update me. Initially, the plan was to embroider this, but given mom's age, a hand-painted version on the lightest of fabrics - mulmul - was decided.
It took some time for the idea to move from request to creation, but what a creation! In its fully flowing beauty, it is best showcased here, as only Deraj can:
The saree arrived home in August with plenty of time for me to get the blouse & petticoat ready. By mid September that had also been achieved. Must say it was tough to keep it hidden from Ma! She would periodically remind me that she was completing 95 and wanted to wear a saree! Well, she knew she would be wearing one because she had to be re-measured for the blouse, but she was under the impression that she would be wearing one of older ones - one whose border matches this deep lovely green.
D-Day was Sept 29, 2022. Mom suffers from Parkinson's and its related dementia & associated disorders, so over the years we have learnt not to surprise her at the last minute, especially if it is something she has to wear. She now needs time to accept and settle with the idea and own it. We presented her with the saree on Sept 28th evening, once my sister was in, we gifted it to her. She was taken aback, but pleasantly so. She, of course turned round and told us that we would have to help her drape it now because she wouldn't be able to stand for that much time without support (the perils of P's balance issues)!
Sept 29th dawned bright and sunny, with birthday wishes pouring in on the family WA group brightening her day! Of course, with both daughters and the son-in-law in attendance Mom was in her element! We hosted my sister's friend and her husband for lunch and the evening would see my cousin and family come over. Cake cutting was reserved for the evening. Mom in her morning outfit:
Come evening and it was time to get mom into her saree. It did take us some time to drape it cause mom could not stand for that long in one go, so we gave her a bit of a rest in the middle. But finally she was ready!
She took a nice long look in the mirror and was tickled pink that someone had taken the trouble to hand paint one for her! She kept on saying oh my that's so much work, but so well done! I like it very much! She wore it with pride the whole evening through, looking as regal as a queen surrounded by adoring subjects! She glowed in the saree, preened every time somebody admired it! Fell in love with the deep green. Said I feel as evergreen as this is!
Many, many thanks to DerajLifestyle, Masterji and the artists, and Priyashmita for bringing this concept to life. It added more stars to her 95th birthday celebration and is truly one for the memory books!
Pix 4 onward courtesy my BIL
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